God's Losses

Exodus 12:1-14 Matthew18:15-20 Years ago in a sermon, I described what have been identified as the Stages of Conflict. The point being that Conflict is neither Good nor Bad, and the Level of Conflict is determined by the way we regard and treat one another. The first Stage is simple disagreement between friends, I like Meatloaf and you are a Vegan, so we disagree but we care enough about the other as friend to let them know we disagree. Level Two is what our Sunday School Volunteers and Children are learning about this morning, as one takes the role of Teacher and others the role of Students, and because we believe our information is important and the student is not going to learn without being challenged and encouraged, one takes a more dominant role and everyone else relinquishes their control to trust that Leader, Teacher, Pastor. Level Three is Competition, where the goal becomes winning, anyone can win, but winning means everyone else loses. The twist of culture, is that we now live in a world of competition, trying to win. Level Four is wanting to win so badly, that you will do whatever it takes to cause others to lose. Level Five is a willingness to to shame and destroy anyone who agrees with or is related to our opposition, so we will never be challenged again. This is very close to Genocide. What I have come to recognize more recently, is that our Need for Control is directly related to the level of Conflict, the greater the conflict, the greater our need for control, and in direct opposition to our level of trust. That as we relinquish Control, we demonstrate greater levels of Trust, and as we establish greater Trust Conflict dissipates. Our passage from Matthew has often been identified as a Blueprint for Conflict Resolution; but while a helpful methodology for resolving Conflict, that is not what this passage is about. We always need to pay attention to the Context of teaching. A Disciple comes to Jesus asking “How many times can my brother sin and I must forgive?” And Jesus replies that “in Heaven, all the angels look to the face of God,” their focus is God not right and wrong or winning or losing, or anybody else. Jesus goes on to name the story of the Lost Sheep, and when pressed for how to forgive, describes the stages of our reading today. Even more than about Conflict or Forgiveness, the point of this passage is about forgiveness of sin. When one person has wronged another, what is at stake is not simply who did what to whom, or who was right and who was in the wrong, but how to forgive, recognizing that the wrongs we commit are taken as wounds inflicted against the other and against God. Remember that the Bible was not written in English, we have received from others and translated for ourselves; the First Testament was originally written in Hebrew and the Gospels written in Greek, and the word here translated as “Sins Against You” is “Harmonton” which has the connotation of “Missing,” missing the mark, missing the point, misunderstanding. A miss causes problems in a community. Imagine every miss as a one degree turn, with every miss, we turn away a little further, we miss by a little more. Jesus linking of my brother sinned against me, and the Parable of the Lost Sheep makes me wonder, what if, every time my brother wronged me, every sin, every broken promise or disappointed dream were recast as being a Lost Sheep? Instead of being our wounds, our offenses, sins against us, these conflicts would be opportunities for redemption, for bringing home the lost and rescuing the wayward. There are 5 R's in addressing Harmonton: Repentance, Resolution, Redemption, Reconciliation, Restoration. These cannot be rushed or forced, every stage is monumental. Often we push for Reconciliation or Restoration, when Resolution has not been accomplished, when Repentance has not been felt or owned. Repentance, Resolution, Redemption, Reconciliation, Restoration all have to occur and in that order, for the community to be fully whole. Repentance is not simply serving your time, or paying what is owed, Repentance is turning around to look at life and circumstance differently. Resolution is then full and complete acceptance of this new orientation. Often times, most often, that new orientation, acceptance of repentance requires Redemption that we have to atone for our wrongs, seek what was lost, earn trust all over again. That is expensive, and relational, which hopefully, though not guaranteed, leads to Reconciliation, simple acceptance of your place in the community, but still trust and community is not present until full Restoration occurs. The Five Fingers of Forgiveness said differently, are simply: “Say it;” “Say You are Sorry;” “Stop it;” “Sort it out;” “Start over.” I mentioned in the beginning, when naming the Stages of Conflict, that a shift has occurred because of our Culture. We do not live in a world of trust and simple disagreement among equals in community. We do not even enjoy the world of exploration and discovery, where we share new ideas and educate one another on truth, We live in a time and place of Competition, outraged when someone cuts us off in driving, when pedestrians step out in a crosswalk without looking; when our ancestors, or our culture, or our passions are impugned. The difficulty, as these are Stages of development, is that it takes very little to escalate from Competition to being willing to shame and inflict pain on others that we never be challenged or questioned again. Related to this is that increasingly we live in an anonymous culture, where we do not see each other face to face. We do not share meals, we do not have conversations looking the other in the eye, we do not even write letters. Instead we post messages on Facebook. We poke one another. We watch, we listen, we consume and we expect everyone else to get us, or get out of the way. The Parable of the Lost Sheep is affirmation, that nothing is so important as the redemption of the lost. What is at stake is not who did what, or what was done, but harboring the sin, the brokenness eats away at you. The irony of this passage is that after trying everything else, treat the other as a Pagan or Pharisee, who rather than being rejected are the ones Jesus tried the hardest to include. Seeking the Lost is risky and costly. To leave the 99, is to give up trying to win. To leave the 99 is to trust that they do not need our control. To go in search is to admit a level of humility and desperate need for the other. God's instruction to Moses of the Passover is not simply institution of ritual, or passing down recipes. The Passover, was not the people choosing to pass-over the Red Sea, but an act of Repentance, Resolution, Redemption, Reconciliation and Restoration. Every household and person chose to be part of this community. Choose your sacrifice, not the least, or the most sickly, or easiest, but the best. Treat this as the first day of the rest of your life, as if there was nothing before. Imagine your wedding day, or child's birthday, or graduation... this is now the first day, with a new counting of months and days. Start over. Tear up your Calendars. Delete your saved up memories. We are not to worship, sitting back in the pew, but standing up, with your shoes on, with car keys in hand, ready to go. Our posture and position matters. There are churches where the reading of the Gospel is done with the congregation standing. When I came to this congregation there was a raging conflict, over which way we should face because for years we had faced North, but the Architect's designing a new Parking lot entrance wanted us to face South. In “good Presbyterian fashion” we formed a Committee to study and make recommendations, who came back suggesting that we come to God from many different directions and experiences, so lots of doors, but by re-arranging the pews we could face the direction we always had, with greater central focus, and even more the need to serve one another.